Working late nights leaves me alone with my thoughts, alone with my precious ghosts. Its so hard to move on and even harder to accept the past and know that I cant change it. And yet, with their illness', I know I wouldn't have done anything different.
I have no idea why their lives are so short, no idea what so ever. There is purpose to everything but I cant see the reasoning behind this.
I seriously need to find some time for art therapy. I started on a piece of my two girls a few weeks ago... its so tender, so dear to my heart, so therapeutic and requiring much needed time alone with my heart and my grief. I hope this winter will open up time to work on this new piece again.I know my time this winter will be spent on the trail with the dogs in the wilds that I love so much. I will feel the girls there and call to Iris to come along... I know she will be with us, Ursa too... the two of them doing what they loved the most, following the team and sniffing around the forest. If only I could see them as clear as I used to. I just have to remember they are there, our loved ones are truly with us in every moment...
"And if I shed a tear I won’t cage it, I won’t fear love, And if I feel a rage I won’t deny it, I won’t fear love..." Sarah McLachlan
Posts
